The Way of

The Way of

Leadership to Acceptance

Realize that we are all one and that hurting another only hurts yourself.

Try to remember that needing to do things your own way is only your ego’s way of asserting itself.

Think before you speak.

Those born during the Way of Consideration must develop consideration for the feelings, viewpoints, and lifestyles of others. The type of understanding or sensitivity implied here is more than a onetime ability to have empathy for another. What is important is continuity; that is, the development of an ongoing capacity to think of others from moment to moment. First one must become open to, and accepting of, views or feelings other than one’s own. Second, one must consider these views or feelings in one’s dealings with people, whether one agrees with or understands them or not. Such a process requires a certain detachment, since it requires a thoughtful or contemplative regard of another as a prelude to understanding. Moreover, developing the art of reflection will aid them to see their own actions and their effects more objectively, thus enabling them to think before they act more and more frequently over time.

Cultivating a more open and accepting point of view toward others rather than judging them is the first step toward regarding them with consideration, compassion, and thoughtfulness. The core lesson for these individuals is to free themselves from making ego­related judgments. It is judging a person’s actions, goals, opinions, or feelings as right or wrong that often leads to a lack of consideration. This is because most people do not value or take into account anything they have once invalidated or dismissed. Moreover, judgmental tendencies often come from an attitude of superiority that is ego­driven. The men and women on the Way of Consideration would do well to guard against such a stance, as they do possess such a commanding manner and have such a self-assured approach that they tend to dominate those around them, if not ride roughshod over them. These folks need to give up their rather larger­than-life egos, in particular their tendency to believe themselves to be infallible. None of this is very easy to accomplish, since deep inside, they believe themselves worthy of kingship, and they act this out by attempting to rule—handing down judgments and meting out punishments. As they struggle with this core lesson, they may even go so far as to believe that their brand of “justice” is actually in the best interests of others. Obviously, their struggle with ego and judgmentalism may take some time, and patience may be required before humility begins to emerge.

Developing a greater ability to detach and reflect is also necessary. They are born with a headstrong, passionate approach to life and love. Burning with emotional intensity, they often rush headlong into situations without fully considering the results. Moreover, they are especially sharp­tongued and have a propensity to be hurtful in their directness. Prickly pears, they have an extreme sensitivity to anything that smacks of criticism, and this causes them to go on the attack, often verbally. What’s more, they have an uncanny ability to really “stick in the knife and turn it” in others’ most vulnerable spots. However, learning to stop and think before they speak and becoming more aware of the effects of their words or actions on others will occur over time. It is ironic, however, that they should place such a high premium on being accorded honor and respect yet find it so difficult to accord others the same. Of course, they never see it this way. Ultimately, these powerful individuals will release their need to dominate and to inflict their opinions on others at all costs and will learn to use their considerable charm and facility for wit or humor to spare the feelings of others or to deflect situations that might otherwise be hurtful, helping others over rough spots or making up for their own mistakes or omissions. A good strategy is to acquire sufficient objectivity to shift their view of themselves as being at center stage and to take on the perspective of one who is standing on the sidelines and watching the action, thus enabling them to see what the other players may need and their own role in the action.

Of considerable benefit to them is their innate heroism and sense of justice. Truly wanting to do the right thing by the people in their lives, they are often pained when shown the ways in which they have been thoughtless. If they can develop sufficient objectivity to recognize, without judgment, and understand the needs, desires, and greater goals of those around them, they may, in fact, become everyday heroes for others, offering kindness, thoughtfulness, and small, continuous doses of caring. The great potential here is for their fiery passion to be transmuted into a kind of compassionate love of humanity that is of the universal kind. The great creativity that is innate in them can be put to use to serve others in a myriad of inventive ways.

Ultimately, they will open to the notion that they are in fact part of something much larger, not just a greater social whole but also a universal oneness. Luckily, the idea that all human beings are equal is not anathema to them. They are exceedingly democratic in many ways, though they may not be aware that, deep down, they believe that they and they alone are superior to the rest of the human race. As their development progresses and they learn to accept and tolerate others, it is not unusual for them to become champions of the underdog or fighters of injustice in any form. They may involve themselves in humanitarian efforts, charity, or other forms of service. These somewhat extreme personalities must, however, take care that their propensity for judgmentalism does not take another form so that they begin to go overboard when defending the rights of others, pointing a finger at anyone they feel is not sufficiently compassionate or thoughtful—in other words, becoming bullies but justifying such shaming of others as caring for those less fortunate.

It is in the realm of relationships that most of these processes will be experienced. Often they find that fate places them in the company of a wide variety of people, particularly those whom they find especially difficult to accept or even tolerate. It is typical for them to be born into families or to give birth to children who are totally different from them in temperament and outlook. Here, in the bosom of family, is the crucible of many difficult lessons. Their children in particular, thanks to the fierce love they feel for their progeny, will help teach them about acceptance.

Other important lessons will include setting aside selfishness and self­centered aims in favor of learning how to give others what they need. Those intimately involved with them are apt to go through some considerable trials by fire as their loved ones vacillate between aggressive and passive behavior, one moment ruling with a heavy and often ruthless hand, only to exhibit awareness and kindness the next. In addition, their mates may have to wait quite a while before their husbands, wives, or lovers realize that a double standard is not exactly considerate. They may lose those they love due to their overbearing attitudes, intolerance, or inconsideration before they learn the lesson, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

By transferring their belief in themselves into a belief in others and universal laws, they will grow spiritually and find that their moral values have matured. Many will also find that the workplace provides a source of growth. These powerful individuals often achieve positions of authority; thus, their struggle to deal with their autocratic tendencies and to understand, support, and appreciate their coworkers will fall neatly into place. They do enjoy working side by side with others. It is important for those involved with these people to remember that, try as they may, they will never truly rid themselves of their ego’s needs. Thus, giving them a certain amount of acknowledgment and appreciation when they have made the effort to be considerate will go a long way in helping them grow.

A symbol of those who are born during the Way of Consideration might be that of the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz. Lacking a heart, he joined with his fellow travelers to search for the wizard, a symbol of the power of greater consciousness. In the end, by overcoming his fears and allowing himself to be more vulnerable, he reveals his humility, his love, and his heroism and discovers that he has a heart after all.


Releasing the ego's need to judge


To develop an ongoing, thoughtful
consideration of others

Need to release

The need to be infallible

Expected reward

The joy of being there for another

Must learn to balance

Acceptance and rejection